Challenge

Ok im going to try and stop being me....sounds stupid but if u reallllly knew me ud hate me. Im going to go on a quest. Im going see whether i should be funny or not. Be happy or sad. Or maybe mad. I need to find out who i am. I am going to rid this form of all emotions for as long as i can.  Im going to quit me. And whether u think this is a good idea or not it doesn't matter there's nothing or no obe who can stop me.I am unstoppable. So if i see u...which i highly doubt will ever happen anytime soon but if u see me and i seem to be in a monotone.well then im still figureing out me

What do I have left?

What dooo i have left? Cause i don't know. My whole life I've played football.raised to play.and that's all i can see now. It hurts so much ill just sit on my bed sobbing with tears and pulling at what hair i have while listening to the boys of fall. That's all i know how to do. I don't have anything else goinfor me right now. I just don't know what to do. I do everthing ok or bad. But football was a whole other story. I was great! I set two school records as a freshman and for half the season i had a broke arm! I broke the most interceptions in a season and most yards after catches........with a broke arm. I never complained i never back talked i was perfect. We were a brother hood. And now im in the truth and my so called brother and sisters r rejecting me my friend who has been my sister for ever hates me and so does her family im.being bullied by a baptized brother and no one cares or does anything! Where in the hell is the respect! Yeah i get im.not worth anything but even a tiny mouse deserves his justice. Do you know what its like to be able to wall into a classroom and kids ur own age and older look up to and look to u for protection? No u don't cause most people have lived sheltered lives andhave no clue wha the world islike! I was raised poor and still am and in a small town like this football is everything. I went to a football game the other day and some kid I've never seen came up to me and said " are you Tucker? #23? I saw u play! Your a beast on the feild! Will u throw ball with me?" I busted out into tears and toldthe kid i'd be honored. His dad saw that and asked me why i cried. Andi told him that i love football and that i should have never quit. And i told him to let his boy do what makes him happy. And he busted into tears. So here i sit sobbing and choking on my tears wondering why in the hell am i still liveing?

MMM..Misconceptual Musical Mondays

Ok so here's three questions.
1.What was the last song tht made u cry and y?
2.If you were in a band what would be the band name?
3.If could tour the world with one band whether they r deador not who would u tour with?

WARNING! DO NOT READ THIS!

Ok well im just going to go try some more reasons on why I do things and other useless crap tha pitys me.ok well alot of people say I cry alot. Well last week I only cried five times.once because we were watching my favorite cartoon ever in a car and it was a single tear.the second was because my mom got up in my face telling me how I disgust her and how im not worth anything and that ill never make it to the new system. And the only reason I don't kill myself is because I want every chance in the world to try and make it in the new system I have been told all my life that I was never going to make it there its not a privilege anymore its a goal and a challenge.there is sometimes that I just want to kill myself but I know I can't because I have a family t take care and even tho they get onto me and yells at me I stil need to take care of them. The third was because megan cheered me up when I was in such a low state and the fourth was again the same reason.the fifth was because Idk y. All I know was I sitting on my bed and my eyes just started I wasn't sobbing or anything I just did Idk it wasn't weird its happened before.well ok im not going explain y I cried when my got on to me cause any one who had a lick of common sense can figure out. But the reason y I cried when I watched that cartoon episode is cause it takes me back to just for a short 7 mintues in my childhood wasn't ruined. Now I still may be a child age wise or physically but ever since ty was born I have been having to play father cause well my "dad" is always at work and then comes home to watch tv and go to bed while yelling at someone all the while. But he has gotten better tho with ty and erica tho. I mean the things they get away with if I so much thought about at there age or now for that matter I wouldn't be able to sit down for weeks they'd whip my butt so hard. The reason I cried megan cheered me up is that whether shes my friend or not she cheered me up and I have never had any one there to do that for me thru my life span. And the reason I shed a single tear over the mod simplest and littlest things like say a song is cause I haven't ever been able to enjoy it or anything else and even tho I may have heard that song many a times just that one time whether im with my best friend or in my room bored im hearing that song for the first time as beauty. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me cause then ill feel bad. The reason I write all my problems is cause well I never get to really talk about these things and I guess it just feels good to get it out. And this blog truly is a blessing y? Because my mom doesn't read it and I can say what I truly feel. Now I only talk to very few people about these things is cause they either ask or because I need them but there are certain people like lauren Eckel and other people who I will never discuss because well I like them so much I think they deserve the best parts of me. Ok well I told u not to read this but if you did ...thank u and I send u my love</p>
<p>P.s. feedback would be nice</p>

Life in a fox hole

Well lately life has been treating me like..... well more like beating me.there have been times where I've wondered if god really even exists anymore and times where god is the only thing I got. My mom just had surgerey for something she ddnt even need. And so I have been haveing to take care of my brother and sisters from now on in. You might ask where my dad is..weeelllllllll my birthfather is in jail. And the so called "dad" that married my mom when I was two could give a shit less about me really I mean the last time we said more than a few words to each other was when I went to a game and went and sat with my friends and realized halfway thru the game my "dad" was sitting behind me and I said hay....that was over a month ago. He screams and yells at me and if I do good he'll throw me up against a wall and cuss at me. And my mom well she does the same except throwing me up against a wall. And I have told people my plans about how when im 18 im moving out. Sine people ask y I just dont stay there a little longer. Well its not because I want out which I do but because that's when im getting kicked out. And along with that my mom might die. And to make matters worse I have gotten mad and have a real quick temper lately and mood changes. One minute ill be cussing one of my best freinds whom I love (kit kat) and the next im crying asking for forgiveness and advice in wht to do. And another person who we really aren't friends or not atleast yet in my mind. But anyway we have been talking more than I ever remember and we have fought twice already (meggellys). I haven't told certain people these things because one I don't thing they deserve to be wrapped up in my crap (lauren...no one really should have ever gotten wrapped up in it) or because I jus don't know u and ur not my friend and we just talk or hang out some (lorna) either way im sorry for everything I've done to my friends..the only safe place I have any more is my room. And I haven't been to a meeting in about two months. I use to never miss one. But then I called everyone to get a ride. I thought I had some friends over here. Apparently not, I mean I had a meeting with the elders and they didn't even ask about where I've been. I haven't gotten one single phone call or nothing I mean I live right next to an elder for gods sake! Where is this "brotherly love" at? So as far as im concerned my life will be fine when im 18 and out of this lyeing inbreed state.

One Fair Day

Ok well I have nothing to update books wise ive read just about the most I can bear right now. wait i did read the squires tale #2.Maybe I already blogged about it.-goes and looks-............................................Ok no i havent ok well anyway this book is well I will give it 3.5 stars ..ok the reason them stupid stars are up there instead of over here is cause i dont feel like fixing it sorry.But any way this series is made up of a lot of short books. The second one was ok in the beginning and then a little bit better then WHAM!!! some thing happens between the main character and the king (i loved that part) and then it climaxs and border lines all the way to the end which i loved. If you are into medieval storys, fantasy storys, or both like me and my best fre...my friend Meggellys does then this is a must read. Ok now back to what I came here to write about. -le sigh- Ok well me and my best friends went to the fair the other day.Im getting happy again just thinking about it. Well I had an amazing time:
Megan said:
"hmmm... I think my favorite part was dancing to "Bottoms Up" while waiting in line. I liked "The Pirate" the best. I liked the first time we went on it. hahaha"
Lorna said: So what was your favorite ride?
"The Himalaya. I remember riding it Im not sure how long ago with my mom, it wasn't that one specifically but it was the same ride and it was just as fun as I remembered it to be."
And what was your favorite part of that day?
"Hmm I think just being able to hang out with my friends and all of us having an awesome time together with out being bored out of our skulls."
Kailas thoughts on the subject have yet to be known i will update this post soon tho.
My favorite part was actually being able to be in asheville for the first time and have a good time.Plus I was with my sister and my two friends. there was only one down time if that. FOr me my down part was when i actually started to think.....well as in i wonder off and i am like in my own demension thats when megan started to wave her hand in my face and then we got on the himalaya..and again sometimes it does suck to be the bigger one like on rides that spin u around u get squished but ive been thru worse so it was nothing. Tho at one point i couldnt feel my foot for a moment.And I am really glad i got to tag along and thankful i have such an awesome sis and freinds. I cant wait till we get together again which might be at some skillet raven party? idk i asked if i was invited and i got an imediate no from the girls so i  get it its cool but kaila is going to try and teach me to swing dance at another party or get together....I tried swing dancing at mcdonalds with her and i cant dance apparently without ghettoing it out.Im sure that will be fun.And then i have to help with alot of my best friend sheyanes graduation party which i wont be going to because its in december and if u know me that is my last work month and im not taking any off days cause its the last time i get to work before i start back homeschooling.Well i am extremly upset i wont get to dance with my friends and slow dance with emma which is the most cutest thing on the earth to me.. and i wont get to make lauren try to do anything really which if u knew her u would know that i love to tease and aggravate her cause she is the one who enjoys sitting in dark corners doing nothing.But the bright side of it is i wont have to go and see half of the people i hate in the world :)...well i think im done so ill see who ever reads this later unless i dont know that is.BYEZ!

MMM......Misconceptual Musical Mondays

1. Whats the first sing u heard or listened to today?

2.what's your favorite techno'ish song?

3. If you were in a band what instrument would u play?(u don't have to really know how to play it)

A1. Ok im pretty sure it was people=$#@% by slipknot
A2. Harder,better,faster,stronger by daft punk
A3. Guitar and vocals

just boring.....or is it? yeah it is

Ok well im considering quitting blogging...I may start a new one on tumblr but Idk I mean I like writing and all but I like feedback as well...its just like this stupid town I want to to do more but I can't.well I finished reading the squires tale 2 I thank megan Eckel so flipping much for reminding me of my most favorite of books that I haven't finised the series yet. Well ever heard of the girl next door?  Well it's like the hot girl next door that the guy likes and some guys fantasies -rolls eyes- well I just realized im the boy next door..there is this stupid little blonde girl who visits her grandparents every year more than once and like every time I see her I always have my shirt off doing something hot like working on something playing basketball or playing guitar..and she flirts with me all the time.well besides tht I read something that makes me want to g back to not ever giving a $&*% about anything...."the person who always cares about everyone and trys to make everyone happy is always lonely"...well besides that I get t go to the fair with by far my bestest friends ever! And I am going to win that stupid $200 on the bull ride and im going to buy a plate with the money too...and for some reason I want a new kitty one that is blonde

MMM....Misconceptual Musical Mondays

K this is not a spinoff of Megans WWW this is my own thing!!!
1.What was the first thing you listened to this morning..or night?
2.Whats your favorite type of music and why?
3.AND! If you could perform one song flawlessly on stage what would it be?

Answer:
1.Higher by Creed
2.mostly everything but if I had to die to choose I'd pick rock 'n' roll all the way
3.Havent really thought of that..maybe thats why I asked it..Ok I would have to say Slight return by Jimi Hendrix..CAsue he is amazing and i love the song

Tucker the Fae

Love what is it? Hmmmmm.???? IDK. Love to me is seeing the trees and rotting leaves underneath it and knowing that tree is conected forever to the earth.They are one! The tree didn't ask for this but neither did the earth.BUT neither complains.You might think that is because they can't speak. Well sorry to disappoint but they do in such a way that no one can explain but feel even I can barely begin to comprehend there speech.The tree why it provides us with air in its most simpilist functions.It gives earth the most beautiful sight o look upon or up at.And earth why she returns the favor with thin and thick blades of over 100's of different shades of green grass and millions of different types of beautiful shoots of flowers.Such beauty cannot be harnessed.Then these evil despicable creatures come and destroy and desimate what GOD HIMSELF gave them! They come and destroy once was theirs to build monstrous things of metal and for what? FOr their love of their type of green "beauty" (money). And for I to be apart of these creatures makes me want to vomit. For I sall never, NEVER be one of them! I shall die alone, yes I am lonely that maybe eone day I might find such a love that i feel for the worlds natural beauty around me in a human. This natural beauty that was given to us by god and and was meant to stay but one day it shall all be restored.....................one day.

WWW thing and other craaaappp

ok im currently reading The squires tales #2 and it rocks!!!
Just got done reading.uuhhhh ummmm lets see it nwas the uhh i cant remember....
I wanna read the squires tales #3..OHHH!!! i just finished reading The squires tales #1 which i gave to my best freind.ok im going to start a new thing just like megan's www wednesdays but mine is going to be called music monday!!!!! :D   any way im going to go ahead and make one for this monday...i have to take my permit test today and i have musical theater and havent slept at ALLL!!!! the past few days!!! im tottally going to fail EPICALY AND ROYALLY!!!

Updates and moore

Ok so for all of my viewers (none) I would like to say.............boo. yeah im really bored but my bestest friend and loved sister got me hooked on his game and I tink half the reason I play it is to try and beat her at it. But either way im one of those guys who doesn't care for the end result but enjoys the challenge I think my sis just wants yo win but she wlhas been playing since like 5inches ago (very long time). I got my debit card last night .....no wait it was this morning at 2. I also got the squires tales# 2 and am looking forward to reading it.I had a hilarious burn the other night.  Someone said im cool as crap. So I came back with most crap is body temperature so ur not cool at all. I wore my deadmau5 shirt to the game a few days ago and the only persons that knew who they were was a gay man which we ended up talking for like 5 mnutes.oh and im still working on quitting the game which I have every word ready to type all in my head just evrytime I get to do it I get distracted.and ne and this one kid from clyde have never really gotten aplong but we r testing each other and we aren't friends but we r cool....also im gointo get to go play guitar at shys party in a couple of months while she sings who knew by pink. But its most likely I wont depending on who shows up to the party. Cause lately a guy in our hall who just got there some time back is a bully. Now I had go put up with bullies my whole life until the day I had enough and beat the living crap out of the bully who was clearly twice my size and that was 5th grade when I was 4' 2" and 75lbs.. and im sorry to say this but im either going to beat the hell out of him or quit going to our meetings and go to north or south franklins meetings.all that's all I can think of at the moment so ill see all zero of you guyses lata.

Reply to musing mondays

What was the last book you…
• borrowed from the library?
• bought?
• cried over?
• disliked and couldn’t finish?
• read & loved?
• got for review? (or: got in the mail?)
• gave to someone else?
• stayed up too late reading?

I haven't ever borrowed a book from the library.
I just bought squire tales two but it hasn't come in yet ugh.
omg cried? Idk if I can give out that information ....yeah right. To be honest I don't ever remember crying over a book but my gut says otherwise so I will think about it....
read and couldn't finish hmmmm uhhh let's see juliet mirelly or something book.
 Read and loved the night angel trilogy or the one book by alex finn im reading.
I haven't ever ever got one for reveiw and for the one I gave away let's see the way of shadows to u andkaila (u after kailas done) ....
to late reading would have to beeeeee -drum roll- the king killer chronicles by patric rothfuss...........................



to

Upcoming

Ok well imma going to be working on a new post that imma going to expect to be verrrrryy long. K itsgoing to be called givvnup the game I want some one to try and guess wha its about. I deleted my facebook account and made a new one cause all my old friends foundme ugh. Anyway imma going t be typeing this new post on my new old typer imma going to clean up

Tired of it all.

Well im tired of haveing to change to be someones friend or to get the girl.I want a girl and I want her to like me for me.I just wanna be there for thru thick and thin even if she doesn't like me the way I like her and when she's down I wanna be the one to build her up and when she cries to be the one to put my hand on her shoulder and to convince her everything is ok......im tired of opening up to people I only wanna open up to people like my sisters.I feel like a girl.

Just because

Hay you guys this will my first blog in a looonnng time..im nervous again cause I have some awesome greinds who write awesome blogs. Anyway my friend is going to dragon con..he is going as a fallout character..I plan on going next year if im not in australia as kylar stern a.k.a. the night angel...anyway he is a wetboy a.k.a. assasin. He is a character in my recently read series the night angel trilogy. Any way I said I might be in australia that's right I might be going to australia as a foriegn exchange student.I am still playing guitar and loving it.

I will:..... to whom ever

i will:

-love u forever till my last breath

 -make up for everything i have done wrong to you

 -and be with u even after death
-and cry with u
-kiss u when u need it
-die for u

- hold u when ur alone
-and be in ur heart when im gone

-tell u i love u

-say ur beautifull even tho you are dripping with sweat and mucus and tears and make up in sweats

-cuddle even tho your sick as dog and risking getting ur illness
-fullfill your wildest dreams

-give you everything but I can't cause i dont have possession over you
-be the one you want to go to when you have a problem
-give you my world but I dont have one if your not in here
-be there when your mad and never leave
-give you my shoulder when you are in greave
-always be...just be
-always there
-always right or wrong without argue
-always be strong when ur weak and weak when ur strong
-always apoligize even when im right

.......WHY? cause you mean something to me!


P.S. I hate cuddling!

ok here goes nothing

Ok here goes nothing....literally i have nothing to write about except for the part that By sunday after like...uummmmm.....7? I will be able to write a new post.. yes it will be another movie reveiw :)) i feel like i will cry during this one but i also have a feeling it will be a bad movie reveiw as well.im still in love. And its more thasn physical its more of spirittually we both want to go to gilead and have no kids..thank god......now for the ultimate test! TIME!!! And right now besides tht there is aalloottt of drama in my life with my freinds. ugh.. why can i just not relax for once? oh well i also got my workers permit..apparently u need one for everyjob u have but its really easy to get one u just look it up and u fill it out on the internet and print it out......well until later ill see u gals and guys soon!!

Fast and Furious

Well i watched fast and furious last night and i give it->Because it is actually one of the series that is one track/story line.I love the action scenes. In this one the action scenes and the driving scenes are actually possible.....Except one which is in the begining were they r on a job and Dom is driving around 70 mph and does a 180 and keeps going but backwards which is almost impossible in real life because the transmission would break and the engine would combust or burn out. But I have seen it done..twice as a matter of fact..One way is with two engines for the front tires and the back ones.The other way is tht u modify an advanced motorcycle engine which can go just as fast forward as backwards.But it only has two very little sex scenes so i most let u know tht it is not verrryyy inappropriate but i recommend it for 10 yrs of age and up.

Update

Ok so I have found out tht i no longer need to be on facebook like i am (which is all the time). Because on my droid i have a gmail account brockbrasil@gmail.com  if u want to talk to me email me. i also have an app for blogger which will be pretty useful...BUT the screen is small so it might be a pain in the butt.But anyway i found out tht my freinds bob and joy want the eckels back in june? or july? idk but it will be awesome maybe i will get to beat my bestest friend at a game of speed again :P. http://bookworm1996-megansbookblog.blogspot.com/2011/06/update-and-more-personal-problems-you.html .well besides tht maybe we will get along better like we did at the last party when we were playing cards. And besides that i got to see my extremely best freind sunday at my meeting. well besides that im going to post two more posts and then ill be making another page made just for my book and movie reveiws.----> http://embermuir.blogspot.com/

So far + Pirates reveiw

Well so far my life away from home is awesome at home not so much. I went to go watch the pirates of the carribean 4. It was pretty cool. Iwatched Kung foo panda 2 previously in the week and i didnt get to really watch it cause i had someone on my mind.But by the time i got to watch the pirates movie i was better and had her settled down on my mind. But i think i could make a good movie critic.Well anyway if u havent seen it dont read the rest.Well anyway id give the movie a 3 out of 5 cause it did have a lot of bloopers and didnt have Orlando Bloom in it (im not gay) it kinda reminded me of the fast and furious series....ugh.well anyway again I liked tht captain Jack Sparrow (johnny depp) finally works together with Barbosa.Quite funny.But  you do get into more of Sparrows history and his trickery. Anyway i reccomend it to anyone who does like the movies it did get alot less demonic and for those who arent like me. haha

Joy

Happy happy happy.....hahaha so anyways its been a looonnggg time since ive posted something on here. So anyway I've been a vegan for almost half a year hurray!!! And I've been in a relationship for who knows how long, no seriously how long? Well im really happy all the darkness ive been going through is gone. But problems still remain.UGGGHHHH!!! haha i finally found out what love REALLY is.. I found out by spending time with my bestest freinds bob and joy alexander and i guess thts what ill write about next.

Update or just my problems ;)

K. Well this will be the first post I have written tht is actually not a poem or in tht style.....But then again I am Very happy. I'm happy because someone loves me, and my darkness has subcided......for now. But other than that i have been trying to read but it seems I have to much on my hands to do it. I'm always working or playing guitar or fixing my truck or working out. At least I don't listen to books.

This is me at benching 160 now!!!!! And the thing is im benching more than anyone my age right now and I AM A VEGAN!!!!!!! hahaha..... You wanna challenge me? come on i dare you. But anyway last time i measured my biceps they were 15 inches around but that was a while ago. This is a pic of me four days ago i took I dont know why I took it still dont know why haahahaha...I'm also training for the warrior race next year.Its a 5k race thru mud and wire awesome right? Well my bestest family friends told me about it and by the time I tried to sign up it was too late. But all I want to do is beat them..ANd all I do is win..... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGXzlRoNtHU  ........Click this link and you'll know what song NOT to play while I'm in a compitition cause I'll go NUTZZZ!!!! Litterally this year during football season I earned one of my nicknames CG (concussion giver) cause this song came on during a game i was like coach " I want it coach I want it I want it I want IT BADDDD AAAHHHHH!!!!" ..."K tucker go run 49 toss sweep"...Well I ran it for a Touchdown but knocked some kid bout my size off his block  tht tried to tackle me hahaha dont mess with me and football! hahaha ............But anyway it feels good to be in love.

Shadows

Whats the use in living if-

-nothing makes you happy

-theres nothing to live for?

I dont care for the paradise anymore

all i want is to serve JAH now.

But nothing nothing!

ever makes me rejoice anymore

my dark shadows are falling out of control

whats the use in asking-

-when no one wants or never even answers

-or the answers you hear are far from whats right?

Theres no use in the paradise for me

i fall deep into shadows

This Pit Of Mine

Falling

Falling deep into this pit of darkness

Of which some how my subconcieous has created

As I scratch, scream, tear, howl, and pull

This moon remains a full

Every thing I have grown

Has turned into a weedy throne

Everything I have seeked to love

I have destroyed

I mean for it not end this way

but these wounds are within my heart

I find some way to dig these wounds within my heart

and my mental wounds

deeper

deeper I fall

No matter how loud I scream

It seems as if help cannot be retrieved

But then again the help I have received

I have pushed away......

For when will be the day

That my time shall end?

""Your time will come""

(I put to qoutasionns because a freind told me this and its from a maiden song)

THIS DARKNESS WITHIN ME SEEMS TO NEVER FADE.....FOR WHOM SHALL CHOOSE TO HELP A HELPLESS BOY?

Darkness Within

"As I walk through the valley of death I fear no evil"

And all I want to be is a hero

but alas I can not

for I feel this dark part of me

it moans

it grows

and roars

from with in me

saying I want out!

It came from the deepest most part of me

Never knew this monster was here

and when i look at my self in the mirror I feel disgust

I also feel the fear

The feeling as if i try to change that I will be torn in two

by this monster that I have created

from what i dont know you tell me

for I have no clue or control of these feelings I feel anymore

the darkness seeks from my pores as I sweat

it weeps from my eyes as I cry

and it leaks from my bones within.

Knowing

AM I INSANE?

"I beacame insane, with long intervals of horrible moments of sanity"-Edgar Allan Poe

Thinking upon thy's past

 And looking upon thy's present

And the kind of person for i am today

I have seen that for i have changed in such a many a way

That once upon that old past

I couldn't have even begin to have comprehend these ways i would have changed

which makes thyself HAST!

to think

is these changes

ohhh these changes

been for ones good or worst?

For thyself shall never knoweth

But thy true

Jehovah

He, he shall always, always knoweth

my past

my present

and my future

But i do not knoweth....for now

So

until i knoweth wether or not

it is for good or worst

I shall Set on my way

upon

my path

my path

of hopefully righteousness

that lay in front of ones self

"Help Me In My Weakness" -Jimi Hendrix

What do you do when it seems like everything you do seems like its never good enough for anyone else?What am I a soldier? Cause all i hear sometimes is ridicule,commands or lecturres. How do you know what your feeling is real when you think and others tell you your emotions are mixed up?What do you do when everything, everything you have is gone? move along? What do you do whenall your freindships seem either broken or twisted or dented/ what do you do when no matter how hard you try, it seems like your treading water upstream, and everyone else is progressing but you? What do you do when one of your most beloved freinds dies? What do you do when another freind gets the same disease as thge first freind that has already died?

What Do You Do?What Do You Do?

What Should I Do?

What should I do when I get so depressed for no reason, that when it rains, that just thinking about going out in the thunderstorm and just standing there makes me somewhat happy?What do I do when I listen to music and hear nothing? What do I do when nothing else satisfies?What do I do when there days, yes DAYS that whereI'll just break down and cry for no reason at all? What do I do when i write but nothing is written? What do I do when I try to run away from my problems but the problems remain? HAHA....What do I do when it seems like all my oldest friends are dieng too quick and too young?

What Should I Do?What Should I Do?

What Will YOU Do?

"Manic Depression"-Jimi Hendrix

The Ultimate Question

 What first got me started on this post was a little movie called 'The hitch hikers guide to the galaxy'. So i didnt like the ending to it. ithought tht the ultimate question in the movie was lame. i always thought tht the ultimate question was " what is our purpose like whats my own individual purpose". Well i got to thinking and i thought and thought and thought until i had a brain tumor and died......................................No i eventually came up with "why".Ask me anything go ahead and ill answer woith one word...WHY?.....But as i think more about the question thing i ask myself isnt the question "whats the ultimate question?" the ultimate question?And then i thought again  and again then i realized what the movie answer really meant....it means tht every one has there own individual question and most of the time like in the movie it has something to do with love....................Please feel free to comment

love

Love is a four letter word. Its a powerful word. It is as sharp as a knife sometimes, depending on how its used. Jimi Hendrix said tht "When the power of love over comes the love of power the world will find peace". Huey and the news made a song  called " the power of love" with lyrics that goes alittle something like this  " the power of love makes one man weep and another man sing".In some stories love finds each other by accident. In fewwer they find each other by looking for love. So the question arises where can we all find love? well here is my answer SCREW LOVE! hahahaha just kidding. if you have been searching high and low for love look in the middle if youve went to the ends of the earth looking for it stop searching and wait or look for it a little closer to home and rember tht love isnt in the looks its in the heart... and if you have done every thing u can to try and find it......give up! its either u were meant to do something better besides finding love or u were meant to die alone hahahaha.....................But it has been brought up to me tht u should never give up on love just take a break from trying to find it...........................................................................................................which brings up another question what are you and I meant for? (to be discussed at a later time in another blog)

The picture of the picture of dorian gray. the book that started to get me to read.

Well it all started off when i first saw the movie "The league of extrodinary gentlemen".I was watching this movie for like the twentieth time and as i watched the movie it hit me! All of these characters are from BOOKS! So at the time i had already read about tom sawyer and DR.Jeckle and MR.Hyde.So i asked myself wat about tht guy Dorian Gray?  SO i looked it up and found a picture of the book. So a week went by and i had forgotten about it, until i went to a thrift store bored to death and found the book. Its written by Oscar Wilde and i have heard he is a pretty good author so i bought the book. So it is by far one of my favorite books. To give some details about it its kinda dark, the main character is emotionally bi-polar and he lives for a long long time. if i had to rate it id give it  three stars for being a classic but out of my point of veiw i'd give it a four and a half stars.i would DEFFIANITLY recomend it for ur freinds tht r really selfish or stuck up or both haha.

On the battle front

If you dont k now what im talking about.....Well I should probably just tell u-football.Some know it as a violent sport that teaches kids violents.Wrong and right. You see the reason i play is for fun and to knock the crap of someone when im angry.Yes football is a very violent sport. I have gotten one broke bone, popped out knee cap, torn acl, and torn mcl, and all my knee problems haunt me still. Football even tho it is a contact sport if you have problems at home or dont have a lot of freinds footballs the answer. I was raised in football. at first the only reason i played was for my dad because football is his life and its not mine.Matter a fact i still do it until i quit tht is. but as i got older i realized tht being with my best buds and getting to knock the crap out of each other one minute and eat out the next is awesome! Being in highschool and in a small town u grow up with these same kids. SO ur raised to be brothers wether u know it or not.but it doesnt hit u tht u love each other like ur own flesh and blood until u have matured and u realize right then u would take a bullet for each other. But some of the best feelings in the world is knowing tht when u step out on the batle front known as the football feild tht ur brothers have ur back. ANd another is tht when u get to run the ball u r not incontrol of the team but ofe the whole feild. Being quarter back is amazing too even tho ur hands is under best frainds privates most of the time is tht ur incontrol of the feild and ur team. But some of my favorite expereinces is intercepting the ball, this year i had more interceptions than anyone on my team and the varsity. But the top two things tht i like most about football > #2 returning the football-one time i ran fifty yards and hurdled a kid on the opposing team,and even tho tht was the play i tore my acl it was amazing. #1 is running the ball while laying a shoulder and helmet into another player and winning tht half a second battle and keep on running. if u have anything to say or ask please do so